Back in 2009, I lost my job as a Senior Legal Researcher in a prestigious tier-one law firm. Having been on Bay Street for close to 22 years, the shock of that day felt like a tsunami had come upon the shores of my life, taking my breath away.
Since then, my life has changed DRAMATICALLY! I have been faced with the ebb and flow, which is my life, challenges that are met with equal support from friends and family. I have been stretched to limits beyond what I ever thought possible. At times I feel like Gumby, stretching to the point where I think I might break, yet, always finding Zena-like inner-strength to adjust and resize to the shape that is me.
How would I define me? Hmmmm....positive yet mildly sceptical, curious yet slightly cautious, courageous yet fearful, always loving, always caring, always nurturing, always wanting...to be loved, to be acknowledged, to feel valued, to be understood, to live in the now. I am complex yet simple, I want for nothing, simple pleasures, erotic moments, sensual touches, longing gazes...I am forever evolving, forever reaching for the best "me" that I want to be.
As long as I am evolving, I am learning. This is the true essence that is my life. This is living to me!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Get Out of My Way!
Last month I deliberated over what I was tolerating. Here’s the bottom line - I was getting in my own way!
As I began to explore my values, I noticed I was stepping all over myself. I can still see my footprints on my forehead! My values of happiness, connection, fun, living in the now, authenticity and courage were being gutted at my every turn. Here’s what’s sickening about that – I was the driver that ran over me!
The “Why?” was easy to figure out – those sneaky saboteurs were wreaking havoc on my self-esteem, my self-worth, my “am I enough” parts of me. I allowed those pesky inner voices to dictate my actions which, in turn, stopped me from living my life aligned with my values. The past few months these “inner critics” have had a feeding frenzy on my sense of self and this, my friends, is not living!
Unveiling each value and expanding each one to uncover more meaning, I noticed there was so much more to these values than once thought. Take a look at the richness, when mined, the depth at which my values bring to my life:
Connection means: heart to heart / love / intimacy / depth / vulnerability.
Happiness means: joy / smiling /peace / stomach tickle / openness / love.
Fun means: laughter / more sex / smiling / reckless abandonment / silly / freeing.
Living in the now means: no past, no future / current / just being / no thinking / flow / rhythm / no expectations / whatever happens let happen.
Courage means: bravery / having a spine / “manning up” / Zena Warrior / inner strength.
Authenticity means: bare-bones / truthful / honesty / being yourself / raw / no judgment.
So, now what? Action steps my darlings! AND tell my saboteurs to hit the road! You know, once I get out of my own way, seeing the forest for the trees makes it much easier to breathe and live a life that feels full and beautiful.
Give me a call if you find yourself waking up one morning with footprints on your face – chances are – they belong to YOU! Together, let’s get you unstuck and out of your own way – live the life that you were destined to live.
Until then, be kind to yourself, love yourself and know that you are “enough” just the way you are!
As I began to explore my values, I noticed I was stepping all over myself. I can still see my footprints on my forehead! My values of happiness, connection, fun, living in the now, authenticity and courage were being gutted at my every turn. Here’s what’s sickening about that – I was the driver that ran over me!
The “Why?” was easy to figure out – those sneaky saboteurs were wreaking havoc on my self-esteem, my self-worth, my “am I enough” parts of me. I allowed those pesky inner voices to dictate my actions which, in turn, stopped me from living my life aligned with my values. The past few months these “inner critics” have had a feeding frenzy on my sense of self and this, my friends, is not living!
Unveiling each value and expanding each one to uncover more meaning, I noticed there was so much more to these values than once thought. Take a look at the richness, when mined, the depth at which my values bring to my life:
Connection means: heart to heart / love / intimacy / depth / vulnerability.
Happiness means: joy / smiling /peace / stomach tickle / openness / love.
Fun means: laughter / more sex / smiling / reckless abandonment / silly / freeing.
Living in the now means: no past, no future / current / just being / no thinking / flow / rhythm / no expectations / whatever happens let happen.
Courage means: bravery / having a spine / “manning up” / Zena Warrior / inner strength.
Authenticity means: bare-bones / truthful / honesty / being yourself / raw / no judgment.
So, now what? Action steps my darlings! AND tell my saboteurs to hit the road! You know, once I get out of my own way, seeing the forest for the trees makes it much easier to breathe and live a life that feels full and beautiful.
Give me a call if you find yourself waking up one morning with footprints on your face – chances are – they belong to YOU! Together, let’s get you unstuck and out of your own way – live the life that you were destined to live.
Until then, be kind to yourself, love yourself and know that you are “enough” just the way you are!
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